incarnation

i'm a deep sleeper and a vivid dreamer; it's often difficult to wake up because i'm so immersed in whatever is happening in dreamland. had an interesting dream a few weeks ago which i've told a few friends about and finally have decided to share here. i really only remember the end, which went like this...

i'd been at a party (at which myriad surreal events unfolded, as usual) and had made my way home drunk. life went on as usual until a couple days later, when i'm at home, and i notice something... my own dead body, accidentally drowned beneath a table in some mysterious shallow pool of water, too intoxicated from the party to realize what was happening. my ghost had carried on, unaware of my own death. i had to go find someone who wouldn't freak out and tell them i was dead, and to go find my body so that it wouldn't go on lying there, alert the authorities and, essentially, make my death official.

after that i just remember being so angry - i was furious that i had died, and died so stupidly, that i no longer had a body, and couldn't do anything i'd wanted to do. everything i'd planned on, dreamed of, wanted to do would never happen, and i was so angry that some freak accident had taken it all away from me.

being a ghost was a very strange, intense pain, which i never thought of in such a way before having the dream.

interpretations aside... it never hurts to sit back and consider how i'm spending my days, while i'm still alive, and still younger than i'll ever be again.

above is a collage from my visual journal in high school, 1997. my friend annika took the photo of me.